CONVERSATIONS WITH MYSELF

It is often said that just before you die, there is a moment when your whole life flashes in front of you. If that’s true I wonder what that would be for me. Would they be dreams that fill my heart or memories that are rosy sweet or they be some missed opportunities. But getting an answer to that wouldn’t be easy.

Let’s try to answer it the other way by answering the broader question attached to it. What makes you tick!! What is that that breathes life into you that makes you long for the next moment? More importantly makes you a human. Try answering that because I am too depressed, self deprecating to answer that.

But my logical mind says there has to be something. These must be something. That what I hate about my logical voice, it starts to extract the meaning about anything to everything only for the sake of it .Well it’s a little egoistic, can’t help. Maybe it’s stopping me to get there. Wait let me put it aside so beware next few lines may be absurd but be sure they would be beautiful  love songs because they are straight from the heart. So let’s hear from its humming.

Heart ,”Hey dude don’t you just love watching the rain in night. I have noticed you being lost because you like its melancholy sound, you like the sweet sound the drops make. You like was when Mother was awake for the whole night because the next morning you had an exam (those moments came too often) . You like them because she makes you feel special. Or when you won your first competition (maybe you came third) but your dad told you that he was proud of you. And don’t you just like when you watch the underdog movie just because you love winning from behind. You were happy all those times. You love when something makes you say wow .Or when you drop the tiniest of tear when you meet your best friend because you don’t want him noticing it  .And when some of your dearest friend says you write good dude J“.

Those things made me happy because they made me feel invincible, full of hope like the world is my oyster .I am destined to do great things (Copied from Dead Poets Society). That what makes me ticks. Looking into future, seeing an eye to eye saying c’mon I am worth something. I am not just an ordinary guy that you walk past by.

Maybe there has to be no reason to be happy. You are happy when you aspire less, feel more .Feel from within rather. That is what, what makes you human. Being human is just to feel things because someday you would be fertilizing daffodils. Maybe the flash would say, son you got embroiled in pity things just to prove a point to somebody but you lost the plot altogether. You could have done more. You could be more. You should have had done more for all you had got.

Makes your life extraordinary – Carpe Diem